Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
