Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize