8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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