From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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