I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
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My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
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I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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