You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
