For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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