the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
