There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
