We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
