He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
