You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
