There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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