So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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