do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
