Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Alive.
So much puke
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
