this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize