Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
