You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
