the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
