i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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