Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
