You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
