Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My ass is underappreciated
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
