I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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