I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
