You can't special order awesome
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
