whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
