Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize