Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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