i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
