I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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