yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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