I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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