"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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