and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize