You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
