those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
