i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
