I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
