I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
