butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
4 words: hood of his car
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
