I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
