i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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