Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
