It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
