That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
