I think i peed on brittanys purse
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
