YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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