I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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