you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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