he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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