One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
