at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
