i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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