I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
