I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
