I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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