I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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