NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
