Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
