OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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